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Knowing the limits | |||
| We know we all experience anger some people more intensely and frequently than others. But if you are in a marriage or relationship where you will do anything not to make your partner angry or you live on the edge waiting for the next thing to set him or her off, you better look where you stand in it. |
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| Some misconceptions
of anger are: |
If you don't look angry on the outside, you don't have a problem with anger. |
| If you ignore hurt and anger they will go away |
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Venting feelings, swearing & cursing |
| Playing the martyr and not expressing yourself (like being nice all the time) will not damage you. |
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| Your relationship will suffer if you express any anger or hurt |
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cover up anger |
Denial (ignoring the evidence) |
| Peace at any price (giving in rather than having conflict. Using withdrawal) |
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| Grievance collecting (keeping track of everything that has happened) |
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| Passive/Aggressive behaviour.... pouting, sarcasm, stubbornness, procrastination, generating guilt etc |
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| All is well (overly sweet and nice about what is happening) |
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| Resolving issues | We can all identify with some of this behaviour that we can resort to if we haven't learnt to manage our anger. Think about having an agreement where there is no yelling & where there is no need for us to feel defensive and retaliate. Then look at admitting your anger to your partner |
Forget about blaming or belittling |
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| Explain in a calm manner why you are angry then both look at doing something about the cause of the anger |
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| Hope all this is helpful, remember there are anger management classes around if you find you need more support or help. |
| Other useful stuff .... |
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I know some people have who have grown up |
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